Mellow vs. Depressing Music: Depends on the Listener.

While with a dear friend a few years back I decided to come forward and ask her if she was feeling depressed. This conversation came on the heels of listening to the Iron and Wine station on Pandora for eight days straight. What can I say? I was worried about her. I noticed she was really quiet, and not her usual self. She explained that everyone questions her constant music choice, but after a long day all she really wants is to unwind and relax and not be bombarded with the repetitive messages or peppy music.

In the years that have passed since that conversation, I have caught myself engaging in the same behaviors. I love happy, peppy, music, don't get me wrong. But after going all day for days and days sometimes I just love to put on quiet, seemingly sad music and let my mind calm down. I've noticed over the past year or so that songs don't have a singular meaning to me anymore. Especially with my "mellow" playlist. Songs are multidimensional, sometimes they are there to help unwind, sometimes to make me smile, and other times to put on repeat while I cry. My reaction to a song solely relies on my purpose for listening to it that day.

One example of a multidimensional song for me, is "Give A Little Love" by Noah and the Whale. This is one of my go-to songs for relaxing after a long day of work and school. However when I am in need of a good cry, its also my go to song. I see it as something I can put on and release any harboring emotions before they get the chance to conflict with my daily life. Church had an excellent example from the study "Hurts So Good" that states, “a grief response to music…allows [the
listener] to bleed off in a controlled manner a certain amount of harmful emotion with which one
is afflicted" This is one of my main purposes in my choice to have a soundtrack when I feel upset. I am the type of person who has to deal with problems as soon as I can to prevent delayed emotions triggered by things at work and school. I have experienced time and time again, "Sucking it up" so I don't feel like an emotional girl, this idea backfires and all I do is end up crying later, and in a much more public manner. When I decide its time to "bleed off in a controlled manner" I put on my mellow playlist, and cry out any negative emotions. Songs such as "Give a Little Love" are able to become sad to me and therefore I can be sad to them. When my little cry session is over, I don't hate the song, nor see it as a song about grief, in fact it goes right back on to my playlist to where I will love it even more.

I think that the reactions, and attachments we have to music are individually based on the listeners mood and experience, as well as expectations for the song. I don't think certain songs have single universal meanings.